Time to Heal
Sanctuary News Network
06/02/05 by by Jeanette Laird

Wounding just takes time to heal. No way around it! And what is good for you is not always best for me! There are so many variables playing into it. To name a few, we all have our different backgrounds, type of wounds, who it was from, your personality, culture (more than racial), and a whole host more.

My daughter Christy had a biking accident when another bike collided with her several years ago. The scar is there if you look, but there are ripples of fear that bring it back to life every now and then.

The accident happened quickly, making a very ugly, painful wound that landed her and me into emergency. Her leg was so chewed up that they had to put two layers of stitches in – the outer skin, and the layer below. Then, she had to keep weight off her leg with crutches for a week, as any stretching of that area could easily totally kill that skin.

Don’t our emotional and spiritual wounds often hit us where we least expect, and some of us didn’t even see them coming. They broadside us, ripping us open in ugly and painful ways. We don’t always feel we have a surgeon handy that can stitch us right back together, yet our heavenly Father is there feeling for us and ready to aid. But like a mother to my daughter, at that point of rawness, all I could do was be with her, comfort her, and help her get through the crisis.

A week later, we went in to have the stitches out, only to wait another four or five days as there was not sufficient healing. All wounds heal differently, and we all react differently, just like physical wounds. You cannot rush the process. In the meantime, it is extremely tender. We are afraid to let anything near the wound. Sometimes we were even scared for ourselves in our self-care. Any touch hurts, and we know it.

If you are in this tender period, please give yourself some grace – the time needed as God gently works in your heart. Try to move forward, but don’t be impatient and try to push too fast. Know yourself. Don’t not move forward out of fear, but be wise. You are healing. Some of you are feeling depression in your personal loss. This is real – and is okay. Get some help. There are more people out there in the same boat, and you now will be able to relate to them, walk with them, or minister to them later. You will arrive! Yes, you may never totally get rid of the scar, but you will be functional again. God may use you in an amazing new way.

If you are walking with someone, perhaps your spouse or child, keep yourself in God’s loving care and relationship. He will be there, as you let this significant person struggle along. They may say things that scare you about their beliefs or emotions. It may not sound like them, and they may just need to vent. This seems to be a common experience as they work through this grief process. Let them talk. Don’t be shocked. Be their patient friend. They are in pain. Just don’t allow yourself to be pulled down with them. Let it roll off. Allow them to talk, but realize they are going through anger, disillusionment, and more. They probably won’t mean it later. But only if he or she is going to hurt himself or herself or someone else, break that trust to get help.

Overall, remember Christy’s wound. It will heal. Take care of it. Keep it clean – don’t do anything that will bring bitterness by hanging on it. Deal with it. Talk and pray it through in a safe place. Then let it go. Who wants to keep a wound open? Life is more than that event, even though your world is torn apart right now. It will get better. Wounds heal and fade in magnitude. Even as we have massaged Vitamin E into the scar to help if fade away, love and positive moving on will eventually help it take less and less prominence in your life.

Christy still has flashbacks when she least suspects it. When the situation is close to the one she got hurt in. Suddenly it comes alive again, and the fear jumps in. Wounds are that way. Don’t let the fear control you and keep you out of the game, but be patient with yourself. God works on a timeline that we cannot see, but is sowing good from the bad. Wounds slow us down temporally, but healing will come with time.